Not just another face in the race...
I wanted to comment on Meg's playground experience since Proffessor Nussbaum-Beach read it in class last week. I come from a relatively small, country town, so racial tension isn't a foreign thing there, nor is it the norm either. I'm not writing this entry to suggest ideas on how to handle situations like that, but I did want to write about it because a semi-racial incident is the reason I am here at William & Mary pursuing a teaching degree.
My mom told me the other day that when I was in school, it was primarily white. I never paid much attention to race because I was young, and my friends were my friends. It wasn't until I got older that I even noticed race really or my parents explained some things to me about how some people might act to kindly towards me. While my mom remembered a time in my older brother's second grade class where one of his classmates said to her on a Parent-teacher evening, "You must be Jay's mom" (not a bad assumption seeing how my brother was the only black student in the class), she never remembered any racial comments or problems with my elementary career.
Anyway, back to why I am a bit racial concious today. When I was in the 11th grade, it was time to take college prepartory courses - the typical courses an accelerated, college-bound student took in 11th grade. I had all intents of going to college until that year (obviously that changed of course), but because of this one teacher, who was seemingly racist according to several people, I quit all my college and accelerated courses. At the beginning of junior year, in the running for valedictorian, I quit. I went to general ed classes for the first time in my life since i had started taking accelerated classes. The whole story behind this teacher is not important at this time, only that as normal, I was the only black student (or would have been) in his class, and it seemed from his actions that he was targeting me. Long story made short there, my father was on the verge of threatening to have the school fire him.
This, as well as the incident where my brother's first daughter's grandma said that "white and black people shouldn't mix (despite the fact that her daughter already had a mix child)", made me adamant about going to college after all and becoming a teacher. Because I had straight As (yes, straight As) until 11th grade, I was accepted here even with my downgrade to general education classrooms and a scatter of Bs and Cs I got in the last years of high school. Even while I am here, I still ponder racial questions, such as you are doing Meg with your 1st grade kids, but I ponder on myself as well as my current and future kids.
One of the reasons I came to William and Mary was because my guidance counselor said to me, "coming from a predominately white school, do you really want to go to a historically black school". This in itself makes me question all sorts of things. Just because I went to school where the population was mostly caucasion, does that mean I'm not black? The odd thing is that coming here has made me more aware of my race.
I remember my freshman roomate (who was white) asking me why I didn't wash my hair everyday. It seemed that I had to explain to some people, probably like your little girl will Meg about being "black" apparently. I mean why don't some people shower everyday? Does it matter as long as we're healthy and don't smell. Different cultures do different things and different people do different things. The other day, one of my other friends remarked to me (and another guy) that we didn't seem black. I suppose he's right - how can you seem a color? (Though I realize I have written black and white throughout this entry, but that is for typing sake).
Basically, what I'm wondering now about race is on top of what every normal pre-service teacher wonders, just to another extent. Will the students accept me (normal question)? Will they think i'm less intelligent because they are used to white teachers? Will I fit in with the rest of the staff? Will the staff see me as different, or an affirmative action hire, because of my race? How will the parents react to me as a teacher of color? It may seem trivial to worry about such things, but i do all the same. I just want to be seen as a highly-qualified, William and Mary educated teacher, and not just another face in a race to diversify a place.
My mom told me the other day that when I was in school, it was primarily white. I never paid much attention to race because I was young, and my friends were my friends. It wasn't until I got older that I even noticed race really or my parents explained some things to me about how some people might act to kindly towards me. While my mom remembered a time in my older brother's second grade class where one of his classmates said to her on a Parent-teacher evening, "You must be Jay's mom" (not a bad assumption seeing how my brother was the only black student in the class), she never remembered any racial comments or problems with my elementary career.
Anyway, back to why I am a bit racial concious today. When I was in the 11th grade, it was time to take college prepartory courses - the typical courses an accelerated, college-bound student took in 11th grade. I had all intents of going to college until that year (obviously that changed of course), but because of this one teacher, who was seemingly racist according to several people, I quit all my college and accelerated courses. At the beginning of junior year, in the running for valedictorian, I quit. I went to general ed classes for the first time in my life since i had started taking accelerated classes. The whole story behind this teacher is not important at this time, only that as normal, I was the only black student (or would have been) in his class, and it seemed from his actions that he was targeting me. Long story made short there, my father was on the verge of threatening to have the school fire him.
This, as well as the incident where my brother's first daughter's grandma said that "white and black people shouldn't mix (despite the fact that her daughter already had a mix child)", made me adamant about going to college after all and becoming a teacher. Because I had straight As (yes, straight As) until 11th grade, I was accepted here even with my downgrade to general education classrooms and a scatter of Bs and Cs I got in the last years of high school. Even while I am here, I still ponder racial questions, such as you are doing Meg with your 1st grade kids, but I ponder on myself as well as my current and future kids.
One of the reasons I came to William and Mary was because my guidance counselor said to me, "coming from a predominately white school, do you really want to go to a historically black school". This in itself makes me question all sorts of things. Just because I went to school where the population was mostly caucasion, does that mean I'm not black? The odd thing is that coming here has made me more aware of my race.
I remember my freshman roomate (who was white) asking me why I didn't wash my hair everyday. It seemed that I had to explain to some people, probably like your little girl will Meg about being "black" apparently. I mean why don't some people shower everyday? Does it matter as long as we're healthy and don't smell. Different cultures do different things and different people do different things. The other day, one of my other friends remarked to me (and another guy) that we didn't seem black. I suppose he's right - how can you seem a color? (Though I realize I have written black and white throughout this entry, but that is for typing sake).
Basically, what I'm wondering now about race is on top of what every normal pre-service teacher wonders, just to another extent. Will the students accept me (normal question)? Will they think i'm less intelligent because they are used to white teachers? Will I fit in with the rest of the staff? Will the staff see me as different, or an affirmative action hire, because of my race? How will the parents react to me as a teacher of color? It may seem trivial to worry about such things, but i do all the same. I just want to be seen as a highly-qualified, William and Mary educated teacher, and not just another face in a race to diversify a place.
posted by Shanika @ 8:42 PM
1 Comments:
At 8:54 PM,
jfccrunner said…
Shanika,
I liked all the points you brought up. There are so many issues that we're going to have to deal with that there's no way to forsee, but it's nice to know that there's the outlet for blogging and seeing if others have experienced the same thing and have advice.
And, for the record, I think you're going to be an awesome teacher. Number one, you'll be coming from William and Mary (which should be saying a lot, assuming we survive this program!). Number Two, you have amazing enthusiasm for teaching, which I feel is 90% of what you need to be a sucessful teacher. (Your huge pile of books...definitely impressive!) And Number Three..you are so on top of things- I'm so impressed! So, don't be worried, I think things will be awesome when you're out in the real world!
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